About two months ago, people were mourning footballer Gary Speed's death. People were astonished about it: a good faithful man, both to football and to his family. A happy guy who goes to club with his former teammate. Why, why did he hang himself up without any anticipating signs, any portents?
And after all, why does a good man die this way? A suicide?
As I have watched him play since I was young, concurring many newspaper reports, he has high standards for himself and is always disciplined. At the age of 38 he plays first-team for Bolton, a English Premier League team. (That's kinda incredible.) Does this discipline drive him crazy?
It's not hard to imagine a man, at night, being troubled but doesn't want to trouble people. We may never know his problems. For him, it's an ultimate sadness.
And it stroke a chord for me. I would not venture to say I'm facing anything at the level of difficulty and troubleness as he does. Sometimes, people hit the pillow, weep, and not be able to maintain peace.
And surely, it's a time to disturb people. Many prefer you to disturb them, than to lose you. And when people disturb you, think that it's time to help, time to save a life, time to rescue a smile.
When I grow up, I start to realize freedom and death are closer than I thought. I could steal something in 10 seconds and then get caught. Dangerous drivers are around me. Deep sadness could be somewhere in everyone's heart.
And don't forget to disturb people.
I was gonna say "life is beautiful", or "life gives a lot of meanings", or smth like that. I'll also add that it's a choice. One can live in sorrow, by nihilism, or perhaps, some (anti-Nietzschean) optimism, which I believe in.
No comments:
Post a Comment